portrait of a dreamer

:(

2006-06-06T19:15:00.000+08:00

Today, I was hurt by the one person I love the most. There was a fast turnaround of events and I didn’t expect what he has said. I know that he has all the right intentions but the words he chose were just so depressing. Ever since, I tried to cover-up my emptiness with (big or small) achievements and circle of friends. Yet at that moment, reality sinked in: I am empty, I am incomplete, I am different. Self-pity continues to surround me. But this will be over soon, I hope so…

:(

2006-06-06T19:05:00.000+08:00

Today, I was hurt by the one person I love the most. There was a fast turnaround of events and I didn’t expected what he has said. I know that he has all the right intentions but the words he chose were just so depressing. Ever since, I tried to cover up my emptiness with (big or small) achievements and a circle of friends. Yet at that moment, reality sinked in: I am empty, I am incomplete, I am different. Self-pity continues to surround me. But this will be over soon, I hope so…

POOF

2006-05-14T19:39:00.000+08:00

i was suppose to attend church today. as you know by now, i failed to do that again because of some lame reasons. and worst part is i got an immediate penalty for failing to fulfill that promise. my not-so-modern cellphone went POOF!!! pitch black! screen went blank!!!

hay...... i ain't got money to buy a new cp and even if i'll be getting my salary, i won't be able to buy a new cp. if im going to have a new one, i want it postpaid (but im still not eligible since phone companies need ITRs) or quite modern, being the semi-techie person i am (semi coz i have the "knows" but i don't have the "moneys") haha!!!

oh well, good luck! i might end up buying a 3310 for 2000 bucks or less. arghhh!!!

the underdog

2006-05-02T17:37:00.000+08:00

mood: melancholic

*** beware, profanity is to be used a lotta times...

just got home from work, not actually work but training. i just used that word anyway because this training is already paid and part of the contract. and yes, i've already started last saturday. the orientation was held last friday. i've been going to rcbc for the last 6 days, i think, the first day was to pass my requirements...

well, this past few days were hard to adjust to because i had to wake up consistently at 5 am since training starts at 7 am. at least i had never been late. it ends at 4 pm so imagine, how hard it was for me to fight and win over my dizziness (did i spelled this out correctly?). as you know, call centers has accent training before you learn the specific programs you'll be handling. as for IHG, they combined these two.

having no background in answering phone calls or speech training for that manner, i am having a hard time coping up. if you know me, you would know that i am not fluent. yes, maybe i'm good at written english but spoken english is a different story. got it? there are only 12 of us in class. 4 from UP and 8 from other schools. 4 are fresh grads and 8 have call center experience. two of us came from UP, the other one has a degree in Speech Communication. the other two newly grads have Mass Communication and Tourism, respectively, as their degrees. do i need to spell out that the former call center agents are already good at speaking? well, i just did! on the other hand, the two other newly grads with Communication degrees under their belt are good at it too, obviously. so that leaves me and the tourism major. it so happened that ms. tourism speaks more fluidly than i do, leaving me as the underdog, the lost puppy in the crowd, the one who least excels. arghhh!!! i hate this bitchy feeling!!!i feel so fucked up, so helpless, having to deal with this awkward feeling all alone. i know i am not THE best in each of my classes back in college, but at least i was not, i was NEVER the worst. i was in between and even on the upper strata. and now? my ego can't just accept the fact that I AM at the losing end, or rephrasing it, THE LOSER!

all the more this ugly feeling was emphasized a while ago, after lunch, when partners were asked to sit in front and read a 4-page conversation between an agent and caller. the class, on the other hand, were asked to listen to the conversation and comment. the trainor, will then, record the conversation. of course, you know what happened, as the tone of this writing already suggested in the beginning, I SCREWED UP!!! fuck!!! all of them were commenting, and even before the start of the role play, how my voice sound like a kid, or to borrow my co-trainee's word, "infant". yah, i know i'm pikon! but what would you expect? this is my first job, i am fucking paying my full attention, sitting my ass for the whole day in that ghost-infested, alaska-like room and yet what i get is that kind of tease??? fuck off you bitches!!! arghh!!! i just wished i wasn't trapped in this oh so kiddy voice... i hate it!!! i hate it!!! i do not need this insult, or FACT, shouted at my fucking face?! bad thing is, i can't seem to do anything about it. yes, i can be more fluent, more conversant, more logical and free flowing in these simulations but i could never, NEVER ever change the pitch of this fucking voice! are you getting where i'm coming from?

i'm really really feeling insecure right now. i wasn't able to work in a hotel directly na nga then i'll screw up pa in a call center lang? although it's related to my industry naman... i don't know, i was really holding this back for the last 6 hours. i just can't contain it anymore. words busted out and i must admit, it was a good throw-up. it relieved me for a minute or two but the atmosphere inside of me is still the same, sad, melancholic or whatever you want to call it.

so there, that was my first week at work. well, not really, there still wednesday to conclude my week. maybe it would turn out to be the opposite (at least in terms of what i'm feeling), just maybe.

others:

>>>our training manager is also from UP. seems to be a nice guy. a brother of the president of UP BSAP.

>>>our trainor is a La Sallite, not La Sallian, hehe... well, yah, he's good. but he isn't helping me out, doesn't even train us to speak the RIGHT English. well, again, maybe it's just me who needs it! FUCK!

>>>my buddy is also from UP. i know her bf and friend. what a small world... She's not pretty, she's rich and got a cute bf. GO FIGURE!!! haha! i hate her though when she says MY ANSWERS out loud for the trainor to hear and for her to be commended.

>>>others? just getting to know them but i don't like one of them. although, this is not a conclusion. maybe next week, we'll be friends. who would know? she's just very PAPANSIN , wants attention to herself and MAYABANG!!! but i have too say this, she's real pretty. all the more i'm insecure.

>>>Lecture wise, i could say that i have a upper hand. Of course, i'm from UP and my course is HRIM. but that's just not the case for SIMULATIONS. good luck. i really NEED PRACTICE!!! hopefully, i'll be doing that on my days off, Thursday and Friday.

>>>Two trainees were terminated because they do not have the necessary skills in simulations. All the more making me nervous that I might be kicked out from this company... Well, hopefully not. I NEED A GOOD JOB EXPERIENCE!

>>>Hotels really suck, they've been calling and texting me for an interview. Too late. I have work already. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

P.S.

friends, you can comment but just don't bash me. i am very fragile right now, i might get angry. put kind words, words of encouragement or sympathy perhaps. i need it... sorry if i'm self-centered here, but that's what this blogs all about, ayt? this is about me, what i feel and WHAT I FUCKING WANT TO SAY!!! shit!!!

anxiety attack

2006-04-28T13:36:00.000+08:00

narinig niyo na ba ito? ako huli kong narinig tong phrase na ito nung demandahan issue nina hero anegeles at cristy fermin. diumano (naks!), hindi nakapag-deemanada agad si hero dahil nagkaroon siya ng second thoughts if he will pursue the case.

la lang, yun kasi exactly ang nararamdaman ko kaninang 1:30 am. orientation ko nga di ba today kaya minura mura ako ng lola ko kasi pasado 1 na, hindi pa ako natutulog, dapat kasi 4 gising na ako. bilang mabuting bata, umakyat na ako at pinikit ang mga mata ko. pucha! hindi ako makatulog. nag-flashback sa akin anng mga pangyayari last december nung nagpapapracticum pa ako sa reservations department ng new world. ganito kasi yun: kinausap ako ng manager na gusto niya daw ako i-absorb since isa sa mga agents niya e aalis na patungong states. grabe! pumalakpak ang tenga ko, hindi ko inexpect na ganun kabilis ako maabsorb. tapos tinext ko prof ko, sabi "that cannot be 'coz you still have to finish your restaurant phase of practicum.work hours is not convertible to practicum hours." amp! e katatapos ko pa lang ng hotel phase so ibig sabihin kailangan ko pang magbuno ng 250 hours. sobra ako ng 50 hours sa hotel phase so 200 na lang pala. kaso bubunuin ko yun tuwing day-offs ko (every friday, kasi me klase ako and saturday), so ang lagay kailangan 8 hours ako pag friday at 12 hours pag saturday. kumusta yun? walang pahinga? tsaka di rin papayag ang training manager na 12 hours ang duty ko for practicum. so yu guessed it right, na-forego ko ang opportunity na yun. dream hotel ko na kumbaga ang new world e, marriott managed, warm environment, okay na compensation, perks at benefits. pero hindi para sa akin e. inisip ko na lang, na me better opportunities na darating...

moving on, so ayon nga. nalulungkot ako, lungkot na lungkot, kanina. mangiyak ngiyak na ako. kasi i'm half-hearted sa magiging work ko. di kasi siya sa hotel, e yun ang gusto ko. oh well, andito na ako e. kailangang panindigan ang desisyong ginawa. sa mga panahong ito, kailangan ko ng kausap. alam ko naman ang dapat gawin e, pero nahihirapan kasi ako tanggapin - ng ego ko, ng pangarap ko. hay...

dagdag mo pa yung sobrang daming tumatawag sa akin para magpa-interview. bakit ngayon lang kayo kung kelan ako nakapierma na ng kontrata??? ganun daw talaga e, parang nananadya. gusto nahihirapan ka. ang hirap kaya mag-reject. kasi it's always in teh back of your mind na baka better dun. tsaka haller? gusto ko nga hotel. HOTEL. HOTEL. HOTEL. arghhh!!!

oh well, kasalanan ko rin e. masyado akong nagmadali. pero okay lang, ayoko na maging bum at ayoko na rin umasa sa mga call backs na hindi dumarating... tama sana desisyon ko. sana lang talaga... ayaw ko nga mag-shift nung college e so in analogy, ayoko na rin mag-transfer ng work... hay.. ewan... gulo gulo!!! grrr...

fast forward...nakauwi na ako. tapos na ang orientation. masya kasi yung friend ng friend ko na from UP din, kasabay ko. yey! tapos nung pauwi na ako, nakita ko yung friend ko from maksci, dun siya nago-OJT. saya! ngayon kalmado na ako, tanggap ko na ang mga pangyayari... sana maging okay na ako. alam niyo ba kung ano nakapagpabago ng utak ko? ung MAC computers. wehehe. jowk. babaw. wala lang.

summary lang ng job hunting ko at ng naghuhunt sa akin (haha):

intercontinental hotels group - unang tumwag sa akin, tinanggihan ko pero ditorin pala ako babagsak.

hotels:

renaissance makati city hotel - my golly, mahal ko ang hotel pero it doesn't love me back. (read: walang call back for another interview)

oakwood premier ayala residence - wala ring second interview

discovery suites - me work na kasi ako nung tumawag e tsaka ayoko ng lugar niya, malayo. it's like going to UP all over again. ayoko na ng malayo.

hyatt hotel and casino - bwisit ito! tinawagan ako for a second interview after a month. e series of 7 interviews ito, pano yun? after a month ulit? no thanks.

restaurants:

sugi japanese resturant

mcdonald's

ayaw ko talaga ng resto e. so di ko pinupuntahan... buti kung resto sa loob ng hotel. ewan ko ba? masyado ko nililimitahan sarili ko. masyado akong naka-focus sa gusto ko na hindi ko naman nakuha...

call centers:

e-telecare - job offer na, di ko tinawagan. dito nga pala nagwowork si jose. in fairness, maganda compensation dito. me 10T signing bonus tas 30% night diff.

infonxx - sabi ko tatawag na lang ako kung pipirma ako sa contract

sykes - di ko pinuntahan yung final interview, nakipagparty ako kay ivy

national pen - katatawag lang. ayaw.

world pacific - agency. no! no! kakatawa. sabay kami nag-apply ni jose tas nung nakita namin yung office, tumakas (as in literal) kami kahit na naipasa na namin sa HR yung 2 resumes namin, haha!

jobstreet select - ayaw din!

career quest - kulit kulit nito.

others:

some manpower agency, binalak akong gawig liason officer. as in taga-check ng attendance ng mga tao nila.

some travel agency, baka maging illegal recruiter pa ako.

some resort, kinatamaran ko na.parang maganda dito. sabi nila gusto nila ako kasi UP ako. haha. feel na feel ko naman pag-reject ko. bwahaha... gada title dito: account executive. loka lang talaga ako.

kakatuwa pala kasi nafeel ko ring hinhabol nila ako. ako naman ang nag-rereject ngayon. ako naman ang nasa ibabaw ng gulong ng palad. nyaks! kasi noon, hintay ako ng hintay wala sila. tas ngayon it's the other way around naman... buhay nga naman talaga o.

so there...

kung me bumabasa nitong blog ko, pasenya na. paumanhin po kung boring to. wala naman po kasi akong ibang masulat e. yung phase ng buhay ko ngayon e talagang naka-align sa WORK. bear with me.

x's:

bago na lay-out ng yahoo ha. nagloloko na naman ang friendster. hay...

2006-04-24T14:54:00.000+08:00

sunflower ni jobos

cute. jocs (green).paul(white).caloi(dark blue).nyahaha.

UP grad na ako!!!

2006-04-24T13:17:00.000+08:00

ces, amiel the cum laude and moi

ces and mon plus OBLE

ate arms, ces, moi, acar and ate cindy

moi and OBLE

moi and ces uli

April 21, 2006

MakSci Alumni Homecoming

alas-10 ng gabi. nagtext si jose,"bka d n ak umabot s concert." yes! wala akong kaiinggitan! after 10 mins, nagtext ulit, "d2 n ak. kasma k cna jay. ewang at aib." arghh!! nakahabol xa! naiinggit ako. gustong gusto ko pumunta. maagang natapos, alas-12 lang. cnusumpa ko na ang recog kinabukasan dahil dun di ako pinayagan pumunta sa reunion na to. ang dami kong gustong makita ulit. oh well, at least di nila ako makikita na ganitong kataba.bwahaha...alas dos na, hindi ako makatulog, als-8 recog. grrr... kailangan gumising ng 4... panu yun???

April 22,2006

CHE Recognition Rites

naging maayos naman ang lahat. gumising ako ng alas-5. kumain. naligo. nagbihis.nagmake-up. nagayos ng buhok. tipikal lang.sumakay kami ng taxi. inaway ni lola ang drayber. nagbayad akming 200. bumaba na kami.maaga naman kaming dumating, 7:30 at whoa!!! isang ale ang sumalubong sa amin.

Ale: ikabit mo to sa sablay mo, kami ang official photographer ng CHE

Mon: ok. magkano po?

Ale: 500 lang.

Mon: ano? ang mahal bakit? sabi sa amin 50 lang. ilang shots ba yan?

Ale: 10 shots minimum.

Mon: cge...

sa loob loob ko. mananamantala! amp! ang mahal. sira ang budget, buti me dala kaming perang extra nina mama.nakita ko sina jancie at sheila.

Mon: HELLO!!! magkano yung sa photographer?

Janice at Sheila: 300

Mon: HA????

Janice: 6 shots lang sa amin

Arghh.. meron pa lang option na ganun...

Tapos nakita ko na si CES! yey! picture pictute with all the HRIM troopers! hehe. Nakita ko si ms. parker, ang ganda! nakita ko si Ms. Roscom, Imeldific! nakita ko si Rhyan Reyes! Kakatuwang makita siya.. Pormal na pormal. Malayo sa wacky Rhyan na kilala ko. Actually, halos lahat naman nag-ibang anyo e, si Mabel, Amiel at Jac!

Alas-9 na nagsimula. Wala pa sina Irene at Jen Vedua. Di sila umattend,sa univ grad na raw... err, bakit parang baliktad? hehe.Ayon lumakad na kami onstage. mabilis lang. ayon...Araw ng HRIM ngayon, ang speaker HRA, owner ng Figaro, ang conductor ng UPSA, HRA din. Para silang nag-concert, 6 na kanta. Astig pati si Chancellor Cao, kumanta. hehe. Tinawag ang pangalan ko, De LEON, Monica M. Tenenten... Lakad. Sinalubong ako ni Ms. PArker (nagkamay kami), ni Ms. Roscom (nabeso kami) at ni Sir Guerrero (ayusin ang lakad). Hehehe. Kumusta yun...

Natapos na. Picture picture. Singit kung singit. Aliw. Adeek!

Pauwi na kami. Nakisabay kami nina lola at mama sa kotse ni ces. kumusta namang ang sikip. hehe. tas si lola nagyaya kumain sa mangan. kumusta namang sa glorietta yun.??? ayokong maglakad in this prom-like, royal highness attire.. oh well... kailangang masunod siya. siya daw magbabayad pero as usual nung sinabi ko kung magkano, pinagpilitang wala daw mangan sa glorietta. hehe. KFC na lang daw, ano??? sabi ko, ok fine, ako na magbabayad. at yun nga, natuloy din kami. tas umuwi na. HRIM peeps, natikman ko na nga pala yung egg tart ng Lord Stows. la lang.

April 23,2006

UP Diliman Graduation Ceremony

1:30 dumating na si jose dito. Umalis na kmai. Umabot ng 1 hour byahe kahit nakataxi, trapik kahit linggo e. 270 inabot. kumusta yun? kahapon 200 lang e. Ang init. Nakita ko na uli si ces, picture picture. me bago na nga pala siyang tawag sa sarili nya "camera whore" hehe. grabee, kami lang 3 nina amiel andun buti n alng me nagsuidatingan pang HRIM siguro mga 10 pa. buti na lang... pero definitely wala pa yun sa kalahati ng nagmartsa kahapon... actually lahat ng pumunta siguro mga 1/3 o 1/2 lang ng population ng graduates. suko na kami! sobrang init...

nakakatuwa. di ko akalaing mas magiging masaya ako ngayong araw kumpara kahapon.

1) kumusta yun? me tumawag sa pangalan ko, "MONICA!". lumingon ako si jp! si john paul obero. ang crush ko mula 1st yrhanggang 3rd yr high school hehehe. pero wala na, wala ng kilig. pambatang crush lang yun e.andun xa kasi cum laude si kathleen mae ng broad comm, gf niya na taga-maksci din. tas andun din si caloi,cum laude din kasi gf niya na journ naman ata course. katext ko si caloi, asan daw ako. di sinabi ko naman. e parang ang labong makita niya ako so sabi niya, see you when i see you na lang. tipong ganun. tas nagtext ako ke jose, sabi ko lapit na lang xa kasi andun naman si jp, tabihan niya n alang. so ganun nga ang ginawa niya. di magkasama na sila. tas bumili ng c2. nakita nila si caloi. tatlo na sila. di nagpapansinan si caloi at jose. me tensyon. bwahaha. la lang. yun lang. cute nilang tignan na tatlo. aaminin ko nag-feeling ako for a second. naalala ko lang ang aking high school lovelife. pati nga si jose natawa, feeling daw ako. narealize ko na ba daw kung sino ang pinakapogi??? kapal ng ilong!!!

2) tinawag na ang CHE... "ang mga nagsitapos para sa kursong HOTEL, RESTAURANT.. (tayo na kami ni ces) ... administration (upo uli)." hehehe.HRA yun e, HRIM kaya kami. haha. navideohan pa ni jose ang blooper naming iyon. bwahaha.

3) naisama ko si jose sa party ni ces. kakatuwa. si ryan at binay, ces at serafin nakagreen at white.si mary nakawhite, ako nakablack, si rach nakagreen at si jobs naka happy orange. hehehe. la lang. sabi na nga ba, hindi magkuya si mary at jose, sila ang mag-syota. haha! la lang, pinakanta si jose. kumusta yun? e syempre hiya pa. di nga nakalamon. hiya e. ako din. echos!!

4) nakakatouch si jobos, pinutol niya kami ni ces ng sunflower mula sa univ ave. haha! naughty jobos. buti na lang, di siya sinundan ng kapulisan ng UP. hehehe. Aliw kaya kasi me nanay dun kinuha yung buong plant ng sunflower as in with roots tas sinakay sa taxi. haha! adeek talaga mga tao o.

others:

1. andun pala ABS CBN as usual

2. balak namin di tapusin ang grad eecremony tas nung nakatakas kami, patapos na pala kaya bumalik kami para kantahin for the last time ang UP NAMING MAHAL!!! as in takbo to the max. ang itim itim ng paa ko, puno na ng lupa sa katatakbo sa damo at nahuhulog pa ang tube ko kasi as you know, wala naman akong boobs. nagpapanggap lang. bwahaha.

3. walang kwenta yung speaker. di man lang pinalaki ang ulo ko bilang isang UP grad

4. kumusta namang 2 lang ang laude sa HRIM? buti di kami sumabay sa tunay na ka-batchmates namin kasi puro laude yung mga yun e. haha! at least kaming 3 lang ang gumaradweyt on time. hayaan niyo na ako, in-uuplift ko lang sarili ko dahil sa frustration kong maging laude. bakit ba kasi di ko ginalingan. arghh!! pero kaya ko naman e. ahha! bitter talaga. ang daming laudes, kumustang 4 summa from MBB, ang pinakamahirap ng course sa UP. at isa dun 1.04 ang gwa. kung ang frustration ko e hindi ako naging aging laude, siguro siya, hindi naging maxima cum laude (yung tipong flat one ang transcipt of records mo). hehe. ang nagspeech pala si donald ngwe.sabi siya din daw yung nagspeech nung 1st year kami kasi topnotcher ng UPCAT. summa din 1.1 GWQA from Economics. galing!

5. sarap ng feeling gumaradweyt. ang sarap makitang naka-sablay si OBLE. pucha! mahal na mahal ko ang UP. i'm so proud! ang ganda ganda ng school ko. very unique, nagiisa, # 1 pa rin. iiwan na kita.. sana magkita pa uli tayo... salamat sa iyo, sa mga disipulo mo, sa mga natutunan ko, sa mga na-realize ko habang nasa bahay mo ako, sa lahat ng kalokohan at kumunduhan na naging aware ako dahil sa kultura mo, sa mga pagkaing sa kolehiyo ko lang natikman, sa mga pagdurusa at pagdidisiplina, sa prestige, sa pagkupkop mo sa akin ng 4 na taon. kahit normal lang ako, naramdaman kong espesyal ako. salmat salamat. di kita malilimutan. sana pagbalik ko sa lupain mo,asenso na ako, maipagmamalaki mo na rin ako, hindi yung ako lang lagi ang nagmamalaki sayo. Sana patuloy kang tumulong sa mga estudyante. IDOL kita... Mahal na mahal kita. naiiyak na ako...Paalam na muna...

***

hinatid pala namin si mary para mahiram ko yung DA VINCI CODE at makuha na rin mga VCDs ko. sana matapos ko agad bago magstart sa work. naks! yung nga pala ang next showing: FIRST DAY OF WORK!

share ko lang nabasa ko from peyups ha...

fat ladies never get love...

Sinipat ko ang sarili ko sa salamin, suot lamangang aking mga itim at laced na underwear.. Sinonglalaki ang hindi mabibighani sa akin ngayon?Katamtaman ang taba, sexy sa paningin ng iba.Tatlong taon ang nakakaraan, hindi ganito angitsura ko sa salamin.Hindi ako magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob magsuot ngT-back. Malaki nga ang dede ko, mas malaki namanyung tyan ko. May triple chin, may bull's neck,flabby thighs, flabby arms.. Tawag sakin baboy.Kapag humaharap ako sa salamin, ang iniisip ko,maganda ako sa kabila ng itsura ko. Sabi nga nila,ang mga matatabang babae daw tulad ko ay likas namapagmahal at mabait.Na sinamantala naman ng gagong yun. Haha. Ngayontumatawa tawa nalang ako, pero sa tuwing naaalalako ang ginawa niya, nagngingitngit ako sa galit.Sabi niya, mahilig siya sa mga chubby na babae,todo ligaw siya sa akin noon.. flowers,chocolates, jewelry.. at napa-oo naman ako agad.Bukod sa gwapo siya, mayaman pa. Pero kagaya ngnapapanood sa sine, kaya niya lang ako niligawanay dahil sa pustahan. Nope, hindi iyon pustahankung mapapasagot niya ako o hinde. Ang pustahan,gaano katagal niya matitiis na mataba anggirlfriend niya. Pusta niya, kaya niya ng morethan one year.Syempre hindi ko pa alam iyon noon. Pero sineryosoko lahat ng panloloko niya: ang inaakala kongtaos-pusong pagmamahal, mga text at e-mailmessages ng pag-aalala, dinner dates, sangkatutakna regalo kahit walang okasyon. Anong kapalit?Paggawa ko ng assignment, project at paperworkniya.. Syempre nireregaluhan ko din siya,tinitreat ko rin siya paminsan-minsan.Pagkatapos ng isa't kalahating taon, naghiwalaykami. At ang kapal ng mukha niya na sabihin saakin ang lahat ng tungkol sa pustahan nila, nahindi siya sincere sa mga ipinaramdam niya saakin. Joke lang ang lahat. Hinde, parang arte langang lahat. Parang reality game show. Sabay dagdagpa niya na mabuti daw hindi niya ako binreakkinabukasan ng first anniv namin. Sabi nga niya,nag-enjoy naman siya kahit papaano sa company ko.Ang kapal talaga ng mukha.Ilang buwan din akong halos pumayat na talagadahil hindi makakain. Todo-suporta naman ang mgakaibigan ko na iassassinate na ang lalaking iyon.Wala daw sa akin ang mali, siya ang maykasalanan.. blah..blah..blah.. Lahat sinabi nilapara makapag-move-on ako.Sinubukan ko ngang makipagdate ulit.. Pero lahathalos ng lalaking nagiging steady date ko aynagbibigay ng mga "sublime hints" na magpapayatnaman daw ako. Naisip ko, meron akong dalawangpedeng paniwalaan: una, lahat ng lalaki aytumitingin sa panlabas na kagandahan at magigingman-hater na ata ako; pangalawa, kahit mataba akomay magmamahal sa akin, goodluck nalang sapaghahanap ng prince charming.Mas pinili kong magpapayat at maghanap ng princecharming. Bukod sa makakabuti ang pagpapayat saaking kalusugan, mas magiging *literal* na magandaako.Hindi ko nailalagay dito kung anong klaseng weightreduction program ang ginawa ko para pumayat. Peronagsilbing motivation sa akin yung nangyari. Kayako naman na magpapayat e. Maganda ako. Mapagmahalat mabait. At alam kong makakahanap ako ng lalakina magmamahal nang tunay at tapat sa akin.Ayokong magpaalipin dun sa mga iniisip lagi ng mgatao na kahit mataba ka, basta busilak angkalooban, makakatagpo parin ng mamahalin atmagmamahal. Real beauty is inside and out. Yun angnatutunan ko sa pakikipagdate sa iba't ibangklaseng lalaki.Ano nga pala nangyari sa kaniya? Dun sa gagongiyon? Ahaha.. May date kami mamaya.Nakipagpustahan nga ako sa mga kaibigan ko e..Hindi kung mamahalin na niya ako.. kungdi gaanokabilis ko mapapasakitan ang puso't isip atdamdamin niya.It's payback time. Give me my black clinging dressand 5 minutes.

written by: hiddenmaiden

ang sakit naman nito. buti na lang me bf na ako bago pa man ako tumaba. hehe.

sige, 'til my next post. salamat sa pagbabasa...

halo-halo

2006-04-20T19:07:00.000+08:00

ilang araw na ring nadelay itong post ko, kaya pinagsama-sama ko na lang lahat ng nagyari sa lingo ko, so here it is:

NICK VUJICIC

since di ako nakapag-simba nung sunday at me pangako ako kay GOD at sa sarili ko na i'll never miss church every sunday, i decided na pumunta na lang on tuesday dahil sakto naman at me guest speaker kami. nakita ko si therese, a long lost classmate at PACS. tumaba kami pareho. bwahaha. at si ana,choir member na xa ngayon, ang payat. laki ng pinayat niya, hiya lang kami lumapit e. dapat siguro nag-pep squad na rin ako para payat ako. wahaha. kaso yun nga lang, i ain't got any talent. nakita ko din si kuya ronald, my former sunday school teacher, bungad niya, "o, kelan tayo magsisimula mag-sunday school?" tto which i replied "nagkawork na po kasi ako e. pero gusto ko po talaga." (at gusto ko naman talaga. feeling ko yun yung mission ko kasi walang nga akong singing voice to be a choir member or dancing skills to be a dancer). ang sagot niya pabalik e "e wala naman akong magagawa e." kakalungkot lang. bow.

so sino ba si nick vujicic (pronounced as vu-gi-sic)? (tignan mo sa taas)

At 23, Nick Vujicic has proved that a man can turn a life without limbs into a life without limits. He holds a university degree in Economics, is a financial counselor and real estate agent, manages the majority of his own personal care, and serves as a motivational speaker across Australia in corporations, schools, and churches. He is finishing a book entitled No Arms, No Legs, No Worries. During the first quarter of 2005, he is conducting speaking and ministry tours of South Africa and USA. This remarkable Australian visited Northside Fireplace and spoke to a packed audience on a Thursday night. Many visitors from neighboring churches came, some with friends. Several gave their lives to Christ during a large and enthusiastic response to the alter call. Nick challenged us all to begin living in the victory that Christ won for us on the cross, taking our eyes off the circumstances of our lives, and placing them squarely on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. He has an impish, infectios smile and a great sense of humor and personal freedom. It was amazing to see him move easily and emphatically around the stage with only a part of one foot to work with. Using that "chicken bone" foot, as he calls it, he types 30 words per minute, kicks tennis balls into the audience, and steers his motorized chair through the house and out into his active life.

la lang. nakakainspire siya. nakita ko siya in person. para siyang artista sa church. pinagkakaguluhan talaga. hehe.punumpuno ang church, parang me concert. sabi niya, "i'm sorry i'm really tired right now i can't hug you all. i have been to 40 talks in just a week." kakaawa...

funny man nga siya e. sabi niya, " i am postive that i'll be having my wife this year, and yes, she might be a Filipina." hehe. tas me isang incident daw na me nagkagusto sa kanyang babae habang nakahinto yung cars nila on a red light, tas ginawa niya to piss her off umikot siya. e di ba wala siyang paa so it was like (for the girl) twisting your whole body 360 degrees. hehe. tas biglang pintakbo nung babae yung sasakyan niya kahit red light pa. hehe. nga pala, hindi siya inutil. kaya niyang sumagot ng fone, magtype (48 words per minute, baka mas mabilis pa xa sa inyo), magdrive using a joystick (malang hi-tech/personalized yung car) and mag-toss ng ball... all using his drumstick like foot.

biruin niyo, isa lang siyang torso na may ulo pero ang tibay ng faith niya ke GOD. sobra, tas tayong mga buo ang pangangatawan, ganun na lang kung mawalan ng pag-asa. alam mo yun, parang self-check yung nangyari. bibilib ka talaga e. nakakahiya talaga...

gusto ko lang i-share kung gaano siya kadakilang tao. isang taong di perpekto sa pisikal na kaanyuan pero busog na busog sa pagmamahal sa Diyos. samatalang ako, pinagkakait ko pa sa loob ng maraming taon ang 2 hours na pagsimba linggo linggo.

wish ko lang makahanp nga siya ng wife... hehe. :p

TOO LATE NOTICE

kung me followers man itong blog ko,marahil alam niyo na na me work na ako sa call center na hotel company.tas nagtext ba naman sa akin ang DISCOVERY SUITES for an interview. too late, nakapirma na ako ng kontrata... pero sabi ni chee, okay lang naman daw kasi di pa naman ako nagsta-start e. pero ayaw ko na din, pagod na ako magpa-interview at paasahin na tatawag for a follow-up interview tas hindi naman gagawin... tsaka hindi yun yung type ko kasi ang layo niya. parang ang hirap mag-commute papunta dun,assuming na natanggap ako. oh well, kung renaissance to or shangri-la or westin, go na talaga! hehehe. yun lang. ayoko na guluhin isip ko sa work...

sa 27 orientation ko pero si jen vedua may 27 pa... weird. di kami sabay. arghh!!! sana wag ako matanggal sa training.. sana ma-reg din ako...

DREADED RECOPY INCIDENT

kahapon. alas 10 ng umaga, nagpunta ako sa true colors-burgos upang magpa-recopy ng 8 pcs 1x1 at 4 pcs 2x2 scanned pic ko. ayaw niya kasi pixelized daw,balik na lang daw ako. e ayoko na magbihis into business attire kaya punta ako sa isang branch nila, sa libertad. sabi 20 minutes lang daw pero ano ito. mag-dadalawang oras na ako, di pa napiprint. una, dahil nag-aaway as in iyakan at sigawan sa harap ng customers yung mga empleyadang isip bata. di ko alam kung lalaki ba or utang pinag-aawayan nila. pangalawa, sira ang kanilang printer. argh!! ginawa ko binawi ko yung pera tas pumunta sa digiprint. aba! 5 minutes lang. swabeng swabe, tapos na! syang, kung dumiretso na ako dun at di inisip na mas malapit ang true colors brannch 1 e di sana nakapag-lunch ako on time. ginutom ako dun. arghh!!! pahabol pala. yung TC br 1, 66.50 singil tas yung br 2, 80.weird no? to think isa lang may-ari. panu ko nasabi? kasi naghihiraman silang empleyado e. tas sa digiprint, 60 lang. oh well.

so patronize DIGIPRINT ha?!

UPD GRADUATION '06

masaya naman ang recognition practice namin. nakita ko ang mga dati kong classmates.3 lang kami gagrad from our batch (ako, ces at amiel), yung iba shiftees. 2 lang ang cum laude from hrim. si amiel (ASTIG!) at ate jocelle (BUDDY!). sayang nga si ate jackie e. 1.759. baba daw kasi ng binigay ni sir guerrero na grade sa practicum report niya e. tsk! pero ngayon, parang mataas naman sa batch namin. weird. mga 30+ kami kanina. yung iba me trabaho na pero yung iba wala pa. sixen, sa oakwood. si acar, sa coffee bean, si jac, sa crowne, si ate armine, sa sales. etc... yung iba di ko na kasi ka-batch e.

mga 2 1/2 hours yung practice. ayos lang kaso ang init!!! ang valedictorian ng CHE ay si hudson go. kaklase ko xa nung FN 11namin. astig!!! di ko expected. di naman kasi siya ganung kabibo dati e. pero magaling nga siya. congrats! hrim nga pala pinakamadami.tas yun nga sa hrim 2 lang laude tas sa ibang courses sa che, halos kalahati ng graduating batch laude. hay.. kakainggit... la lang... mas mahirap naman course namin e, haha! bitter!

kumuha na rin ako ng tickets tsaka classcard (walang 174 at 175 e). makakapag-request lang pala ng TOR pag meron ng university clearance. e kumsta namang sa june pa yun. so ang TOR mga august pa e kailangan ko na next week ng TOR for work. print muna ako grades from CRS.

so ayon, naglakad kami to and from reg to film center... kapagod. nakita ko si caloi. magkasama kami for 1 hour, nagbalitaan lang... nagkabalikan na pala sila ni cean. wala gaanong napag-usapan, nagyoyosi na siya. kulit me typan ba naman siyang girl who i happen to know. naging mag-MU sila tas biglang pinsan niya pala. bwahaha. kulit ni kulot! pero masaya naman ako at nagkausap uli kami after ng matagal na panahon. hehe. he's stil my best friend.

yun so grad practice naman. err... practice nga ba? alang kwenta as in. ayoko na nga pumunta ng grad e. no final decision yet pero malamng ganun na nga...

yun lang pow...

dates to remember

22 - recognition; get programme for graduation

23-graduation; ces' party

june - clearance

august - TOR

december - diploma

UNIVERSITY of PILA talaga ano? pero i love my UP!!! i'm just so proud and excited to wear that sablay! malapit na kitang iwan pero i'll keep in touch. hehe. post pics soon.. sana lang matutunan ni mama ang DIGICAM 101 2m. hehe...

maury

2006-04-17T19:21:00.000+08:00

i have been a fan of the etc and etc 2nd avenue channels ever since it first aired in the philippines. last week whie i was watching tv, i saw MAURY. at first i thought that it was a copycat of the jerry springer show because there were catfights all over. i was right but the difference is that MAURY is a show dedicacted to mothers who want to prove who their child's father is. in short, this is all about a child's lineage, his/her parents story and the paternity test results.if starstruck's words of vindication/conviction were "you survived" or "you did not survived", that of MAURY's are "you are the father" or "you are not the father."

today's show featured the top 10 "revelations"

10. a mother who brought to the show 9 potential fathers (in different episodes though) of her child.results reveal that all of these men were not the FATHER!

what the f*ck?!!! it means she had intercourse with more than 9 members of the opposite sex in just a month??? what a pro!

9. a teenage mom claims that her child was fathered by someone she had a one night stand with but the guy denies fathering her child because IT'S JUST A ONE NIGHT STAND and he knows for a fact that the girl had sex with HER COUSIN. The cousin, on the other hand, acknowledges that the baby is his! Both guys were tested and you guessed it right, the cousin was the culprit! What seems funny is that the mother denies having had sex with this relative of hers???

DUH?! as if anyone would believe her

8. an unmarried mother wants to know if her baby is her boyfriend's or HIS BESTFRIEND'S. verdict was that none of these two is the father. Haha! That bestfriend was lucky and that woman was even luckier because the boyfriend isn't angry with anyone of them.

imagine your gf/bf having sex with your bestfriend? talk about loyalty.

7. a husband denies fathering all of his wife's kids. paternity tests shows that he IS the father....

nyark!!! that woman should DUMP him.

6. a big fat black woman claims that her daughter was fathered by an equally big fat man. he IS NOT the father.

nothing bizaare. it's just her reaction after the result was revealed. her wig even dropped exposing her baldness. bwahaha!

5. 14 year old mothers! got preggy when they were just 13. one was successful in finding the culprit while the other is still countinuing her search for the baby's father.

*freaky*

4. a white mother, a white father and a black baby. you guessed it right. it was not his...

isn't it obvious to begin with?

3. a teener's gf was impregnated by his brother...

i guess they need to have the lights on while doing "it." naughty naughty naughty

2. first maternity test. 60 y.o. left her son at an orphanage who was then adopted by a couple. the son, was again, is orphaned and search for his birth mother.

very emotional. kinda like FILIPINO soap operas

1. protagonist: a 21 yr old boy.

plot: 6 children with different mothers

setting: maury's show, 6 different episodes in one year

hardworking. ha?

that's all folks.... gtg...

argh!

2006-04-16T07:38:00.000+08:00

matutulog na ako. sana naman gumana na yung comment link.. panu ba kasi yun e. hirap naman maging OC! 8 am na di pa ako nakakatulog dahil dito. arghh!

naalala ko lang si yael...

2006-04-16T06:40:00.000+08:00

This was taken during the FRESHteeg concert at the Bahay ng Alumni, UP Diliman.

adeek

2006-04-16T05:43:00.000+08:00

anong petsa na? april 15 na! sabado na! alas-6 na ng umaga. gising na nanay ko ako di pa natutulog. ang dating itim na tanawin mula sa bintana ngayon nagsusumigaw na haring araw na. naadik ako sa pag-eedit ng blog. pero sana matuwa kayo at hindi niyo pagtawanan. sana di masyadong corny, onti lang naman e. haha! o xa. matutulog na ako...

from rachel's blog

Life's Simple Advise

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.

Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past.
Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won.
Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. (or a cat! )
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

2006-04-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

kuro kuro sa mga bagay bagay

2006-04-16T01:11:00.001+08:00

Of Baked Tahong and Fried Tilapia

Nagtataka ka siguro kung bakit ganito title ko. Well, ako din e. Tinopak lang. Haha. Ganito kasi yun, plano ko nung bday ni lola na gumawa ng sarili kong version ng baked mussels ni mader Priscilla ni rach at ng food booth sa Tiendesitas kaso di natuloy aksi nagpunta nga akong Ayala. O cge na nga, kasi tinanghali ako ng gising at kailangan umaga mamalengke para fresh pa. Fast forward, kanina paggising ko ng lunch time, nalaman kong tahong ulam, woah! Gusto ko i-retoke ang nilagang tahong into baked tahong (intact pa naman yung parte ko sa shells niya so keri lang). So ayon, naghilamos lang ako at dali daling lumabas ng bahay para bumili ng quickmelt. Oh no! wala na nga pala yung MASAGANA (pinasarado ni sheriff). So dun ako sa walang kwentang ALPABETA bumili. Pagdating ko sa bahay, tinulungan ako ni mama. Mince ako ng bawang tas sauté ko sa butter. Tas add cheese all over then i-bake na for 5 minutes. Tsaran, luto na… Ang daming matang nakatingin, kamay na nakasahod,bibig na nananabik at sikmurang gustong dumevour ng niluto ko. Nah! This is for me only. The selfish me bursted out. Haha! Onti na lang kasi yun kasi nakain na nila yung parte nila so nagmaramot ako. So kain kain, after just 5 pcs, naramdaman ko ang sakt ko, ang pagkaumay ( eto ang laging pinupuna sa akin ni ces e). Oh no! so, I have no choice, nature it self commanded me to turn over my precious gourmet to those who want it at this moment. So ayon, chum chum, ubos agad. Salap daw. First time nila makatikim, 2m daw luto ulit ako. Ewan ko lang kung totoo un. At least, I gained compliments naman. Haha! Kaya naman fried tilapia e dahil yun ang isa pa naming ulam na siyang inayawan ko nung umpisa pero siyang kinain ko sa dulo. Ngarks!

Lesson learned:
WAG masyadong padalos-dalos. I-consider ang iyong “taste” for the day. Baka masayang lang ang pagod mo. (sa akin lang ata applicable ‘to.

Holy Week

Kumusta naman ang holy week niyo? Ako as usual, andito lang sa bahay. Nag-aabang ng magandang palabas sa TV na hindi naman dumadating… Kain ng kain, net ng net (official blogger na pala ako) at isip ng isip (na di ko na maalala kung ano).

Parang wala na talagangg sense ang Holy Week ngayon. Site ko lang mga factors kung bakit ko nasabi ‘to:

1. Boracay, Puerto Galera, Sagada, et. al punong puno pero mga simbahan puno din naman kaso not like before
2. Yung mga taong dating umuuwi ng province pala gunitain (lalim) ang linggong sa pamamagitan ng prusisyon, penetensya, etc. opted to stay in Manila. (ehem. me tinatamaan ata.)
3. Wala na yung traditional na prusisyon dito sa amin. Wala ng play na nasasaksihan ko taun taon nung bata pa ako. Wala ng mga pabasa. Wala ng sign na ginugunita yung week na to dito sa siyudad ng PASAY!

Eto naman ang mga epekto ng holy week sa mga kapitalista, I mean, establishments. Hehe.

1. JOLLIBEE (hanggang ngayon hirap pa rin akong i-spell to. Boba! Magagalit si Mary nito. Haha.) – lugi. Sarado sila. Kahit yung mga 24 hours na stores nila, sarado.
2. PEOPLE’S TONIGHT and other tabloids or newspapers – walang interesadong bumasa ng mga articles nila except ata for me kaya they opt not to publish for 2-3 days.
3. VIDEO CITY – eto ang tiba tiba. Kung dati ako lang ang patron nila sa buong araw (exag!), ngayon pila na. As in. Ang dating racks na punong puno ng VCDs ay kakalog kalog na ngayon. Ang mga gusto kong panoorin noon, madali kong nakikita, ngayon hindi. Ang Amityville Horror na last week ko pa hinahanap ay lagging naka-out! Madami na akong kompetisyon ngayon.
4. ABS-CBN – di ba kayo nagtataka , huminto sila sa regular programming to pave way for romantic movies, ni hindi man lang religious ones. Weird, e di sana binalik na lang nila regular programming. La naming difference. Does it mean na pag luma ang pelikula, holy na? Aber!!! Buti pa GMA kahit pambata, Barbie and the likes, me lesson naming kapupulutan.. Hmmf… I guess bitter lang ako, kasi pati cable walang magandang palabas. Nagiging fan tuloy ako ng WWE. Yun lang ata pinapanood ko ngayon kahit na puro si Triple H ang nakikita ko.

Yun lang. Walang sense analysis ko.

P.S.

Recog at grad ko na nga pala sa 22 at 23, resp. Pero bakit ganun, di ako nae-excite??? Start ko na sa work ng 29, pero dir in ako na-eexcite… This past few days parang biernes santo talaga ako. Ewan ko, ganito ba talaga feeling pag holy week? Nadedepress ako sa di ko malang kadahilanan. Nabubwisit ako sa lahat ng bagay. Dagdag mo pa jan yung teknolohiyang di nakikisama: pc ko, tv, cp… lahat na ata… Ewan…

Ang tanging nagpapaaliw lang sa akin e ang…. BLOG!!! Blagag! Hehe…

Things I need to do:

1. Do contract of lease
2. Make a testi for Chrissie. Haha. MISS NA TALAGA KITA!!!
3. BLOG MAKEOVER: find the perfect skin, post links, etc… -> in process
4. Get my SSS ID
5. Submit my j**s for medical purposes. Haha.
6. Finish all requirements.
7. Attend recognition.
8. Attend graduation.
9. Attend orientation
10. Start training.

Programs I want to download:

Adobe PhotoShop
Adobe PageMaker
Microsoft Visual Basic
Microsoft Flash
Microsoft Encarta
Norton Anti-Virus
New games for Visual Boy Advance

Arghh, I need a DSL connection!!!

Bilang practice...

2006-04-15T20:52:00.001+08:00

You Are a Social Blogger!

Your blog is more of a semi-private affair for your friends.
It's how you keep in touch... sharing stories, jokes, and pics.

What kind of blogger are you?

2006-04-14T01:45:00.000+08:00

hehe.

toxic

2006-04-13T23:29:00.000+08:00

yan ang masasabi ko sa araw na ito. hindi ako umalis. dito lang ako sa bahay pero nabwisit ako. hindi sa kung kanino man pero sa internet.. 6 na oras ata ako nag-ayos ng blog. hehe. pero worth it naman, natutuwa naman ako. ginaya ko yung blog skin ni ivytots (pasintabi lang po). hehehe.

so ayon. me work na nga ako. clap cla clap. sa 27 orientation. 29 start ng training. bilis talaga ng pangyayari. aasikasuhin ko muna mga requirements ko sa lunes... tapos ko na yung medical kulang na lang yung sa fecalysis. hehe. sila na ata, mag-aasikaso nung TIN, HDMF... SSS na lang kulang ko...

bagot ako...

walang kwenta tong post na to. cge na. la ako sa mood.ay mali pala, nawala ako sa mood.

<<>>

wowowee

2006-04-12T01:49:00.000+08:00

this entry will be in no relation to the show of Willie Revillame in ABS-CBN, Wowowee...

i just use it for... wala lang... expression?waah.. di ba kanina nagrereklamo ako kung bakit 11:30 pm ang final interview,ngayon okay na okay na ako... i think you can perhaps decipher by now what i'm trying to say.

9:00 pm ate dinner

9:30 pm took a bath

10:00 pm dressed up

10:30 pm took a jeppney ride to buendia

10:45 pm took a bus ride to rcbc plaza

11:00 pm arrived at the destination

11:30 pm had my final interview

12:00 am had my call simulation

12:30 am went home

2m job offer na ko. waah... mas maikli yung process na dinaan ko compared ke jen.. bakit kaya... di na kasi ako dumaan sa priority club interview e. sana mas matass sweldo ko. wehehe... sana eto na talaga...sana bukas clinic 2m...sana matapos ko na lahat ng requirements this week.

hay, sarap ng feeling... thank you thank you sa lahat ng nagdasal, sa family ko, sa bhebhe ko, sa bestfriends ko - chee and mary at sa lahat ng kaibigan ko. thank you and sorry din pala ke ate jackie xe di ko nabanggit na ni-refer niya ako e. wala naman kasing nagtanong kung san ko nalamn yung intercon... nahihiya ako... sobra, nilagay ko pa ata sa application form, sa jobstreet ko siya nalaman... tsk tsk... sorry ulit!

SANAs

1. Mataas ang job offer ko

2. Matino ang medical ko

3. Ma-process ko na ang requirements ko

4. Makapag-start ako agad pero makaka-attend pa rin ako ng recognition at graduation, kahit graduation lang...

5. Sana ma-enhance ko talaga sarili ko sa training para naman walang chance na matanggal ako sa final assessment, kung meron man, sana wala.

6. Sana maging okay na lahat lahat - family, boyfriend, friends, work at relationship ko with GOD...

7. last, happiness and peace of mind to everyone. and yes, including mrs. arroyo. hehehe.

pressure

2006-04-11T15:36:00.000+08:00

as i've promised yesterday, pumunta ako ng Intercontinental Hotels Group kanina. i'm done with the initial interview, exam - listening, iq at writing. final interview ko later, 11:30 pm. yes, you've heard it right, magmamadaling araw na ang interview ko. hehe. tsaka call simulation siguro. waah. sana pumasa. tas nun job offer (12.5T basic + 1T rice + 1T meal allowance, me night diff pa: not bad di ba? if ever, pareho kami ni jose ko tas magkalapit kami ng office. yey!) tas medical tas processing of requirements tapos start na ng training ng 22 or 29. sana wag maging disadvantage yung april 23 graduation ko. tsaka sana pag nag-call simulation, di ako mag-bluff at sana lumalim boses ko. sana lumalim na boses ko. hay, sana pumasa ako... i really really really really want to work. desperate! hehehe. joke!

guess kung sino nakita ko? si jen, jen vedua! yehey. tanggap na siya, ang galing galing. kainggit, sana matanggap din ako. sa priority club siya e, customer service representative. sana dun din ako para kasama namin sina jackie at alessa. hay, sarap managarap, di naman bawala di ba? gusto ko na talaga dito! kahit na call center to, related sa field ko.

ang saya, saya naman. me blog na ako. outlet ng mga thoughts ko... kung meron mang nakakabsa nito, pagdasal niyo naman ako. salamatski!

MY PRAYER:

Lord, please help me get this job. I really want it. For the first time, I am very excited with what I'll be doing. I really want this position. I know it has more advantages than disadvantages. I promise, I'll be good. I'll bring out the best in me not just for myself but for my family and for the company as well. Thank you!

bumhood at holy monday...

2006-04-10T18:58:00.000+08:00

2nd time ko na to ha.. naks! sarap ng feeling. kung noon yahoo mail at friendster lang binubuksan ko, well, ngayon kasama na ang jobstreet (kahit na puro call centers ang tumatawag sa akin at yung 2 lone hotels dun e kinept ako for future consideration, okay lang) at eto, blog ko. hehehe.

well, well, well... as expected di ako nakapunta sa intercon na call center. dahil nag-enjoy ako masyado at mejo ayos na uli net ko, umabot ako hanggang 6 am. at kumusta naman yun? 9 am ako dapat asa RCBC. nagyon ko lang narealize n a dapat pumunta na pala ako dahil holy week nga pala, sana lang hindi pa sarado yun 2m, as they say continuous hiring naman sila e. haha! sabi ni ate jackie 1 day application lang daw, madali lang daw. si ate faye nakapasa na nga, kaso nagback out di ko na tinanong kung bakit. eto i'm hoping that i can sleep early and well tonight para naman fresh ako sa umaga. i'm palnning to wake up at 7 - hope that's enough time to read my "script and make my self pretty. hehe. i'm just hoping na sana nga ito na to. LORD, please guive this job to me...

lola keeps comparing mo to jose. na kesyo wala pa daw ako work samantalang si jose meron na. it took jose naman a year to find a stable job. sana wag ganun kasi dapat nga di pa ako naghahanap ng work dahil di ap naman a ko graduate. tsaka ako kaya nagpilit ke jose na maghanap ng work, from the company, resume down to the scripts, ako nag-provide nun. he owes it to me. wahahaha!!! well, sana 2m, 2 na kami me work. ayos yun, magkalapit lang work namin. hehehe.

bday ni lola 2m! 72 na siya pero she looks young and groovy pa for her age. hehe. i'll be dedicating an entry for her soon. i've always say this and this is really true. if there's one person in this world that i can't live without, it would be her. so i'm hoping and praying that GOD will give her more years so that we can still spend a lot of time together. this time, not her taking care of me but the other way around. hopefully, she still lives until the day i have my own family... i love you, lola bonita! happy 72nd birthday! :)

i'm planning nga pala to bake baked tahong, hehe, how redundant. oh well, pero we don't have spare money na e. lakas talaga naming humastos mag-ina. nga pala, umiyak si luis kanina, he's my tito, kawawa. biglang akong nakonsesya. tas si titang pa just had a check up with the doctor. she has a solid nodule below her throat. i hope it's not cancerous. i hate it how pessemistic she is that it's cancer that hit her. well, GOD knows how titang adores her. i hope she also lives longer. i hope its not that f*ck word... i love my lolas...

holy monday pala. bum ako tuwing sasapit ang panahon na ito but unlike before na for summer lang yun pagka-bum ko, ngayon e mukhang pang-matagalan na. choss!wag naman sana. hopefully, holy tuesday will bring me good fortune, a job sana! hehehe, walang koneksyon. pero GOD knows how much i want to work.

*** read saab magalona's blog pala kanina.. hehehe. bilib ako dun, 2003 pa me blog. that means, she's just 14 that time? hehehe.

Job hunting once again...

2006-04-10T01:51:00.002+08:00

hello world!

i don't know if meron ngang "world" na makakabasa nito because i have no intent of informing anyone about this blog. i would want this to become an outlet. but unlike other blogs prolifering the internet, i would like mine to be private, just like a traditional diary. but of course, not written manually but typed. i had a blog once. i think i had made an entry or two but i decided to cut it off because i lack time, it was my dreaded semester back then... but now, it seems i have all the time in the world to chat, download, read about showbiz gossips and all other stuffs you get from the internet.and oh yes, VIRUS! i encountered a very harmful one this week. my golly, it's such a headache! all my pertinent files - documents of my feasib, my thesis and my orgs - are gone in a blink of an eye. the former 100kb doc files shrinked into 1kb! and this is all because i was surfing for the whole day. after this event, i've realized how much a bum i had become... tsk tsk. 1 month of nothing to do but wake up late, eat a lot, watch a lot, surf a lot, drink a lot and sleep a lot. what a routinary "job"! if i have one good characteristic before, it is that i can't live a day without doing anything. i am a self confessed OC, you know... i miss studying. i honestly thought that i wouldn't miss going to school - knowing what you have to do and being pressured with requirements. but know, i am hoping that i wasn't to futuristic before. i wish i didn't planned to graduate on time but just enjoyed my stay at my beloved UP. oh, it's really hard coping up with this non-existent work - bumhood (if there's such a word).

moving on, i entitled this entry job hunting once again because tomorrow i will be going to RCBC plaza to apply for a reservation agent position in the Intercontinental Hotels Group Reservation Centre. i've learned about this through Jobstreet. actually, it was the first company to call me last MArch but i declined upon learning that it would function like a "call center. " my ego to find my dream job in a hotel was high that time. But after 3 nonsense interviews and pagpapaasa, i gave up. i lift everything to GOD. i have always prayed that i be given the opportunity to work in any of the hotels where i had been interviewed but maybe, just maybe it is not for me. my self esteem at this moment is very low. why hadn't i grown taller by 2 inches? why am i stuck here in this small body? why am i fat? (fyi, i've learned yesterday that i'm now 118 lbs. in a 5'2" frame. i gained exactly 20 pounds. yes i was 98 lbs. when i entered college.damn.)why are my eyes aren't of the same size? why don't i have big boobs? why is my butt so big? why don't i have a fair,clear complexion? and the whys continues...

the answer to my whys, i still don't know. you know what? anticipation kills. sa bawat araw na lumilipas na naghihintay ako ng tawag mula sa 21 hotels na pinagpasahan ko, ang sakit sakit. sabi nila tagaUP ka, di ka mahihirapan. pero alam mo, nahihirapan ako. it's also heard na malaman na ang nakukuha ay ang people of lower level. di naman sa pagmamayabang, i know my capacities. i'm better. it's just that i'm not as pretty or i don't have a padrino. yes, existing pa rin yan! di ko nga alam kung nagmamadali ako o sadyang binubulag ko lang ang sarili ko sa pangarap na makakapsok ako sa isang 5-star hotel.. pero di pa rin namamatay ang pangarap ko. kung noon ang career plan ko is to gain entry sa 5 star hotel immediately after graduation, iba na ngayon pasok muna ako sa isang call center, sana nga yung Intercontinental Hotels Group Reservations Centre na nga yun. dun, pipilitin kong maging fluent and i am confident that i will become just like what i want myself to.tapos magpapaganda ako, iinom akong growee, maggo- gold's gym ako, magpapa-vicky belo ako tapos tsaka ako maga-apply sa hotel. joke joke joke... sana by that time tanggapin na nila ako, sana they'll feel that the company needs me not the other way around. pero all that is physical... oh well, i really hope that i'll become more mature and more understanding of the culture that surrounds me. hopefully, i'll be achieving my dream someday...

Career Plan:

>>> Intercontinental Hotels Group Reservations Centre - reservations agent
>>> Makati Shangri-La Hotel - sales executive

anyway, lulubos-lubusin ko na ang pagpupuyat ko, ikukuwento ko na rin happenings sa akin ngayong linggo.

- si jose me work na! yey! sa e-telecare, 12T + 3T tas me 10T bonus pa.
- nagkaroon ako ng friend sa church, nga pala 1 month na akong sunod sunod nagsisimba. what a feat!
- natanggap ako sa e-telecare at infonxx pero dinecline ko kasi gusto ko sa industry ko...
- na-virus PC ko
- me labas ang mababaitz pero kami lang nina ivy at rachel ang natuloy. miscommunication ang culprit. but we still had fun. we went to tiendesitas, aruba and decades sa ortigas. 2nd time ko pa lang to. the first time was with ate tasha and raymond.

My Immediate Goals:

* Find a work: Intercontinental Hotels Group Reservations Centre, sana ikaw na yan... (a job that is in line with the course i have taken, a job that promotes growth, a job that pays well... hehehe) i am willing to work real hard. reasons ko for wanting to work: 1) for my own pleasure - i wan't to earn 2) for my family - i really want to help specially now that lola wouldn't be receiving pension for 2 months.

* i want to revive my relationship with the LORD, this i have been doing for 1 month now, although masasabi kong slow a ng progress. i am still the "bad" monica... what i want to do: 1) go to church every sunday, read the bible everyday, pray 3x a day 2) have a mission and that is to teach sunday school students 3) gain friends in Christ 4) encourage my whole family to =become "real" Christians once again 5) last but not the least, refrain from my bad habits - badmouthing, cursing, being "tamad", disrespectful and judgmental.

*last but not the least, i want to be beautiful. inside and out. I want to become 2 inches taller, be slimmer by 20 pounds and have flawless skin. nyahaha. dream on.

oh well, this is all for now. what a very long post for my first entry. GOD BLESS to me tomorrow. hehe.